5 reasons it's a bad idea to be friends with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend on Facebook, Twitter, or My Space.
In today’s day and age, social media sites such as Facebook have made it increasingly easier to never let go—particularly when it comes to your ex. You’ve pruned your friends lists in the past, narrowing it down to your very best friends and removing all those passing acquaintances, yet there is always that one ex that never seems to get cut. Is the fact that you keep your ex on Facebook a sign that someday you will want to get back with them? Probably not. But here are the top 5 reasons why you shouldn’t be friends with your ex on Facebook.
- If you still have feelings, you’re going to get hurt. This is undoubtedly one of the top reasons for not maintaining a social connection via the internet. You will get to read the headlines every time your ex goes on a date, starts crushing on someone new, or starts a new relationship.
- The person you’re currently dating could get jealous. Nothing sabotages a new relationship quicker than jealousy over an old one. If you’re ex is constantly liking your statuses, commenting on your photos, and sending you private messages, it’s not going to take long before your new relationship starts to suffer. Try and think about it from the perspective of your partner- how would you feel if her ex kept in constant virtual contact with her? If it comes down to your new partner telling you to make a choice between him/her or your ex, what are you going to do? If you loved this new person, there wouldn’t even be a choice.
- Unless you’re actually friends, it is an empty gesture. You may think you’re being mature by maintaining a relationship with your exes, but you need to evaluate whether this is the truth or an excuse to keep them in your back pocket. Do you still hang out with this person? Are they part of your social circle? There is a difference between staying virtual friends with someone who floats in the same friend groups as you, and keeping in contact with someone who can close their eyes and picture you naked.
- It allows you to keep an eye on them, which leads to feeling like they are still part of your life. It’s nice to turn on Facebook and see that an ex who you still are quite fond of has hooked that dream job, or completed one of their goals in life. But do you really need to know what she had for supper, or when they are going to the gym? As well, at what point does a person stop internet stalking their ex and start “showing up” at the same place their ex just checked in to? Deleting your friends from your virtual life means you won’t cave in when you’re having a fragile moment late after a night of drinking.
- It’s time to move on. Whether you’re seeing someone new or not even looking, when the relationship is over it’s time to let go. They are exes for a reason, and they should stay that way. If it’s really, truly over you need to evaluate your reasons for keeping them in your virtual life and decide whether you have legitimate reasons for it.
Copyright Kelly Denine. Contact the author to obtain permission for republication.
Kelly Denine - Kelly Denine works as manager at a Jaguar, Land Rover, Volvo dealership in Newfoundland. She is also the President of the local auto ...
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